


How Do You Tell A Boy You Want To Kiss Him?

by larryisnotanillusion



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Attempted Murder, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Detectives, M/M, Murder, Prostitution, Sexual Abuse, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-11 06:13:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11708502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryisnotanillusion/pseuds/larryisnotanillusion
Summary: Harry has never known much in the way of love his own mother sending him off to pay for her own self deteriorating habits. It was because of this Harry was made to open his body to complete strangers whenever they felt like throwing money his way. Harry would like to say that he wished none of it ever happened but then he may have never Louis, and that's not something Harry would like to think about.In short: Harry has been on the receiving end of abuse for as long as he can remember, his latest form of torture entails late nights with dirty men and their heavy petting hands until Harry witnesses a murder and nearly loses his life before managing to get away. Louis happens to be the one who finds the boy in his broken state calling his mother who has been working for a crime unit since he can remember. Harry needs protecting, Louis' mum needs a witness, and Louis just needs the boy with curly hair and hurt eyes to smile.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea I am revisiting, and hopefully finishing. I have multiple chapter completed so I can keep up with a weekly update system. I truly hope you enjoy this, if you do and would like to read more please feel free to comment as its quite motivating. There is some things that could be considered triggering so please be careful, though i hope to keep it to the bare minimum in description. Looking at an update monday!  
> Follow my tumblr at www.forthelarrylove.tumblr.com

He feels dirty and he knows it’s because he’s covered in the filth of too many men to count, mixing with the tears that always seem to leave his eyes without permission. It’s only one in the morning but he already finds himself wishing this wasn’t his life proving that tonight is going to be a hard night before it’s even really started.  
“How much?” A voice pulls the head of curls to attention.  
“Forty pounds per hour,” the boy responds his arms wrapped so tight around his thinly clothed frame that he swore if he squeezed any tighter those protruding bones of his would break.  
“You’ll do,” the man said beckoning him forward “I’ll give you forty-five an hour if you agree to come with me to my flat.” The idea had an awful ring to it that promised discomfort and a long night, but the promise of money was too much to resist for the teen, not to mention if he were to disagree he would be certain to receive a disapproving fist to his already aching body from those who put him on the street.  
“You’ve got yourself a deal, babe” the curly headed boy tried to turn his voice smooth only allowing a moments weakness to wipe those pesky tears that had previously fallen. Pulling his lanky legs into the car he closes the door bashing in the warmth that this car provided, only stiffening slightly when the older man’s hand comes to rest on his upper thigh as the car begins to move.  
“What’s your name,” the man asked rubbing his hand sickeningly higher on the teens leg.  
“H-Harry,” he stuttered in response when his own hand he held close to himself was moved to the growing hard on of the older man.  
\-----  
Not fifteen minutes later Harry was being shoved through the door of a small flat hitting his back against the wall as the man made it his mission to leave stinging bruises where his fingers now dug into the thin boys hips. “You can get rid of this,” Harry heard as his shirt was already being pulled away shortly followed by the rest of his clothes before he was pushed to his knees unhappily familiar with the action.  
Harry doesn’t think it would really matter how many times he has been in this situation it will never scare him any less as he shakily reaches for the thick man’s belt fumbling with it until the man became impatient ripping them away for himself. The boy hadn’t even a moment to blink before fat hands tangled tightly in his curls shoving his face forward with a simple half yelp that was cut short by the fucking of his throat. Once again Harry could feel unwanted tears leak down his cheeks as he gagged with the pain of a dick hitting the back of his mouth.  
“Feels goo-,” the man starts with a moan seeming to enjoy the pain he was inflicting upon the fragile boy but was interrupted by harsh banging on the door. “Hold here for me, love” the man smirked removing himself from Harry’s mouth with a sickening pop allowing the exhausted boy to fall to the ground and curl in on his own body trying his best to protect his nude shaking frame. Harry could only hear the muffled voices of the two men, though their tones both raising in anger as the moments passed. Harry would have covered his ears if the shouting had not stopped mid word followed only seconds later by the sound of a heavy thud.  
“Should have just listened,” he heard from the hall pulling his body tighter together and shaking fiercely as the voice could be heard nearing his location. The man who walked in was not the one Harry recognized as the man previously fucking his mouth but was someone he had never seen before.  
“Now he didn’t tell me he had company,” the new stranger teased not allowing Harry to miss the knife in his hand already stained with blood. “Such pretty company too,” the man purred walking closer with a smirk.  
“Someone help!” Harry called afraid and so very very stupid he concluded as the man pulled him from the floor ignoring his nude state and slamming him into the wall one hand tangled in the abused curls the other wrapped around his thin neck.  
“Now why would you go and do a thing like that?” The monster before him asked squeezing his throat further making Harry’s head feel as if it was on the verge of exploding. “I was gonna let you work for your life,” his eyes scanned the nude and shaking body draped in front of him under the weight of his calloused hands “but now I believe I just want to kill you… Don’t think I’d like to leave a witness now that I think about it.”  
“P-please, I’m sorry,” Harry pleaded tears streaming down his cheeks.  
“Shut up,” the man demanded bring his large hand across the poor teens face leaving a cut above his eye that leaked blood that mixed with tears and fear on the boy’s face. The hand that had been placed around the boy’s throat tightened further blackening his vision causing him to kick his legs until it met the groin of the man in front of him. Harry was dropped to the ground with a thump that echoed through his bones forcing a gasp from his lips, but he quickly moved to the nearest lamp bringing it down with as much force as he could to the man’s head.  
———  
It was freezing and Harry’s tears were nearly frozen to his face as he ran down the street griping his small, bruising, and nude chest tightly having only taken enough time to grab his pants before sprinting from the dark flat leaving one man dead and another out cold. Harry wasn’t sure how long he had been running but he was so cold and aching everywhere his tears leaking as fast as they had been an hour ago before he could see the lights of a bookstore in the distance glowing in the dim light of early morning. Harry ran as fast as his tired and mistreated body would carry him making it to the door in what must have been record time knocking harsh and frantic on the frosted glass of the window.  
“Sorry for the inconvenience we just weren’t meant to open for another hour,” a gentle voice offered whilst opening the shop door. It took only moments for the boy to look up and take in Harry’s state gasping before grabbing his arm forcing a body breaking flinch through Harry but successfully pulling him inside the toasty shop. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay,” the boy asked internally punching himself because obviously the boy was far from okay.  
“Can you look at me,” he eased trying to calm the boy shaking and shirtless in front of him not missing the bruises that lined his body. Harry slowly let his eyes travel from the ground to meet the boys. “That’s right, love. Just like that,” he offered a small and gentle smile doing his absolute best to be calming. “My names Louis, I’ve got you now I won’t let anyone hurt you,” The boy, Louis, whispered finally seeming to break into Harry’s mind sending him flying to hug Louis in a bone breaking embrace sobbing even harder as he let the adrenaline seep from his body taking his energy with it, it didn’t take long for the sobbing boy to drift into a exhaustion induced sleep his last thought being of those blue eyes that promised safety.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!

“Where are we going mummy?” Harry asked as his little legs swung back and forth from where they hung over the edge of the seat.  
“We are going to go to the zoo, baby,” she said smiling down at him for the first time in what felt like years to the small boy.   
“Is that where Monkey’s family lives? Are we going to visit them?” the painfully innocent child asked looking up with the love only a child could muster, ignoring the sting in his neck from where Tommy, his mum’s latest mistake, had pulled his hair and jerked his neck along with it. He held his stuffed monkey close to his heart as his excitement began to peak.   
“Yes Baby, we are going to visit Monkey’s family,” she said, something misting her eyes as she met the green ones peering up at her.   
\---  
Harry’s little hands were pressed to the glass as he and Monkey gazed upon the cute little creatures in front of them. “They’re so cute, Mummy!” he spoke with excitement lacing his tone and youthful features. “Do you think that Monkey is happy to see them?” he questioned looking down to the plush head of his best friend. “Huh, mum?” he implored further when she did not answer his question.   
When she again did not answer him, he turned his head full of lively curls around but was shocked to find that no one, other than the passing faces of other children and parents, were behind him. His little chest began to rise and fall rapidly as the panic set in. He was only six, how was he supposed to get home? Harry began to run while clutching monkey to his chest as tight as his little arms would allow. The tears didn’t take long to fall from his face, making it hard for the young boy to see anything as he sat on an empty bench in the safari theme.   
\---  
Harry woke with a gasp, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes as he remembered the first time his mother tried to abandon him, with nothing more than his plush monkey in his hands and his blue dinosaur backpack slung over his small shoulder. It had taken him so long to remove himself from the bench, his shoulders feeling much heavier than a six year old’s should, before the night was over his tears had dried and his ice cream money was gone. He was only allowed a moment of self-pity, as the events from the night before came rushing to the forefront. The curly headed boy immediately felt panic, he needed to get out of this room with its warm colored walls and coffee scented air, but his limbs felt too heavy to lift. Before he could make an attempt to move a boy appeared at his feet holding a mug in his hand with the string of a tea bag draped over his fingers as it steeped.  
“Woah, take it easy,” Louis soothed as Harry’s body began to tense in its place on the worn couch. He took a small step closer holding the mug out for the younger to grip by its faded snowman handle. “I brought you some tea,” he stated awkwardly as the boy had yet to speak to him, though relief passed through Louis’ veins as Harry’s long bruised fingers wrapped around the cheerful piece of china.  
His throat was raw and the smell of honey drifting in strings of steam made his throat grow even tighter with want, but his fear of the cups true contents and the small man that handed it to him forced the boy to set the warm mug on the table in front of him ignoring the look of rejection on the shorter mans face as he shifted to the farthest corner of the gray sofa.   
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Louis promised trying to not let his disappointment sit in his cheeks. “It’s just tea I promise,” he offered again gently pushing the mug an inch or two in his direction. Harry shot up from his secluded corner of the couch seeming to have broken out of whatever daze held him.  
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t-,” he cut himself off looking to the floor to hide the fear held within his emerald eyes. He needs to get out of here he reminds himself offering a “I didn’t mean to bother,” as he sped his way down the creaking stair case the blanket covering his bare, bruised shoulders slipped. The curly headed boy showed no signs of stopping as he continued his rush to the door, coming to a halt when a strong shouldered woman entered the door and he nearly collided with her. Harry stepped back his chest heaving as irrational scenarios of the man now standing at the bottom of the stairs and this woman, holding him hostage played in his mind, while his mother would be at home with no one to defend her from Robert. His breathing picked up even more at that, he was the one who was supposed to protect her from that monster and all the other ones she surrounded herself with, he promised himself when he was merely eight that he would be his mum’s protector.   
Harry was quickly pulled away from his thoughts when the steps behind him creaked under the pressure of a small sock clad foot, his eyes met those of his blue eyed savior seeing an array of emotions flowing within the blue irises, but refused to recognize them as genuine. “Hey, its going to be alright,” Louis offered with his hands open and extended palm up to Harry. “This is my mum,” he explained his finger having moved to point out the only other person in the store, “she’s just here to help, you gave me quite the scare when you showed up this morning,” his tone was light and his voice high as he soothed the words into the tense space of the room.  
“ I’m sorry for scaring you,” Harry offered his voice a complete contradiction to that of Louis’s, merely coming out as a broken whisper, wobbling like it’s owners knees. “I don’t need any help though, so thank you,” he continued walking backwards to the door nearly forgetting the woman that stood behind him before she wrapped her hand around his thin wrist. The touch was gentle but he could feel the authority in the grip, so sure and unwavering, her thumb coming to meet her pointer finger without struggle.  
“I’m sorry to say that you won’t be leaving right now,” Louis’s mother commented somehow managing to sound sweet as well as someone that you often thought better than to argue with. “My son called me this morning in a rush, telling me about this bruised and very terrified boy that came running to his door.” Louis had his eyes locked on the green ones that were now staring at the hand on his wrist filled with fear and something sickeningly akin to familiarity; he wished his mum was softer in her approach with the poor boy, but knew after so many years it became a necessity for her to even sleep at night.   
The walls smothered by books peered at the three, so many words printed on pages yet none could be spoken in the silence of the room. Harry wouldn’t dare pull away from the hand as time and time again it proved to only worsen things for him, though the grip didn’t tighten like he had become use to, in fact it loosened to the point his wrist fell limp at his side.   
“So, if you would just take a breath for me,” Louis’ mum spoke into the tension soothing air into Harry’s lungs. “Louis, don’t be rude, love. Go make the boy some tea,” she instructed the older boy with a soft smile and a wave of her hand. Harry could feel the blush burn under his skin as his cheeks heated up with the knowledge that his rejection of Louis’s tea had prompted this minor scolding. To his surprise however the other boy did not exclaim how he hadn’t been the rude one but Harry had refused his more than generous offer, instead he nodded a curt nod that was cut off with a spin on his heels as the boy trekked back up the wooden stairs. Harry continued to only make eye contact with the floor as well as the tips of his nervously fidgeting fingers until a set of softer ones settled between the notches of his spine.  
“Come now,” the woman he now knew as the Louis’ mother spoke up with a gentle pressure being eased into his back as encouragement to move toward the stairs. Louis’ mum followed behind the boy, only removing her hand from his back for a brief moment to retrieve the blanket that had been long forgotten on the wooden steps and placing the plaid patterned patchwork of colors upon the frighteningly thin boy’s shoulders. The scratches that travel from his shaking shoulders to the ridges of his prominent ribs didn’t go unnoticed by the seasoned detective.  
Once the slow moving pair reached the top of the stairs the older of the two boys had already disappeared, snow man mug in hand, into a doorway behind the many shelves. Louis’ mum was the first to speak, not that the fact surprised either of the two, as she lowered harry back onto the gray couch offering a pat on the cushion paired with soothing circles into his sore back.   
“Now then,” she began “my name is Jay.” Her face held a smile though Harry wouldn’t know as he had yet to shift his gaze from his lap. “Listen darling I know you are scared but I need you to breathe and tell me your name,” Jay prompted smile not dropping for a second.   
The boy felt a pang in his stomach at the use of the term of endearment, his mum always calls him darling and he needed to get back to her. Taking a deep breath as told he whispered out, “Harry.” He cringed as he once again heard his wrecked voice that made the air around him thick with pain.  
“Well Harry, I’m a detective,” she informed “and this morning shortly after answering Louis’ call I received another from some officers in the area.” She paused letting her words settle in the room. “There was what appears to have been a homicide in the complex down the way. Now Harry, You can’t tell me your appearance at this bookstore is merely a coincidence.” Jay grimaced a little, her brash approach a habit she had been trying to break, especially when she noticed Harry’s shoulders return to their normal tense posture and breath shallow, as if he was trying to play dead. She was sad to admit he seemed quite good at it. Louis made his reappearance at that point a cup of tea steaming in his hands, but jay continued, “even if there is no connection I would still like to bring you in as you are a minor covered with bruises.” She looked to Harry seeing the panic settle in his green eyes as he looked frantically to her son his face pleading. Jay may not be as smooth around the edges as she would like to be but this wasn’t her first rodeo, Harry needed comfort, “Louis, love, go grab Harry here some clothes. I want you to come in as well, everyone has been asking about you,” she offered when he started to tilt his head in confusion. Louis had never been to his mother’s work, she preferred to keep him as far from the horrors she often faced as possible, but he nodded anyway knowing better than to argue. Jay knew she would have to explain later though when her eyes landed on Harry’s body sagging in relief she thought it was completely worth the trouble.


	3. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos, they are very encouraging! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please feel free to comment or send ask to my tumblr forthelarrylove.tumblr.com

Harry sat uncomfortable at the steel table his skin growing cool where his arms rested, he wasn’t sure how long he had been in that room, Jay making frequent stops to attempt to coax words from his tight throat.   
“We can’t keep him here any longer; it was already pushing our luck to proceed with a collection kit.” Jay told Louis who sat at her desk chewing his thumb nail, he just wanted to protect the kid but their time had run out, at that point they would have to charge him with a crime to continue his hold. “I’ll do everything I can to help him, you know that, Lou.” And he did know, she was just as worried about Harry as he was but they had done what they could.   
“Well love, looks like that’s it for now,” she says upon her return to Harry, he chanced a look up his eyes tired and too heavy for his age.   
“I-I can go,” he questioned feeling his chest contract with relief, he could be with his mum, but immediately the grip on his lungs returned in the form of Roberts face. He had been gone all night and most of the day yet had no money to show for it.   
“As soon as I get your guardians number,” she nodded, “they will have to come pick you up, as a minor we aren’t free to release you without a parent.”  
Jay placed a pen clipped to the corner of a piece of paper in front of Harry’s fingers watching as he, with great effort, picked them up clicking the pen. Harry knew there was no hiding the shake to his hands, he was terrified. With the paper in hand she turned to make the call.  
\------  
Louis sat in a rolling chair next to his mum as she dialed an unrecognized number that had been scribbled across some paper. He could hear the tone over the receiver that signaled the ringing of another phone. He made faces as his mum attempted not to laugh, just as they had done when he was a toddler and she would be talking to his nan. Unlike Nan though whoever Jay had tried to call didn’t pick up, she frowned before giving it one more try. The thought that Harry had given a fake number lingered in the back on her mind, as it certainly wouldn’t be the first time.  
“Christ, what?” a voice answered, exasperation present in his tone.  
“Excuse me sir, are you a parent or guardian of Harry Styles?” Jay asked ignoring the man’s rude behavior out of habit more than anything.   
“What about em?” the man spoke only responding to Jay’s question with another question.  
“My name is detective Jay Deakin, I have Harry here,” she informs “he needs to be released to a guardian. When should we expect your arrival?”  
There were muffled sounds at the end of the line followed by a grumbled, “comin now.”  
Jay placed the phone on its hook with a sigh, she turned her head to meet her sons eyes rubbing the tips of her fingers against her throbbing temple. “Well he was an ass,” she said smiling lightly as Louis laughed at her though his faced dropped again soon after.  
“Should we let Harry go with that man?” Louis asked the weight of the day settled under his eyes in a purple hue.  
“We don’t have much of a choice, but I won’t let him leave without my number. I may not be sure if he is connected to what happened last night at that complex, but I do know he is covered in bruises that had to come from somewhere,” she sighed again while holding the pen in her hand clicking its end as a nervous tick took hold. A few more moments passed with just the clicking of the pen to fill their ears before she set it down to grab her card from a tray next to the picture of her beautiful children’s smiling faces. “Why don’t you go get Harry for me?”  
Louis nodded standing up from the chair only to get behind it and pushing it toward the door he had seen his mum enter and exit countless times. “Son, why do you need to take the chair with you,” she questioned a fondness largely evident in her imploring.  
“Just trust me, I won’t break anything,” he smiled assuring her, “I just want to make him smile.” With that he pushed the chair and opened the door.   
Harry’s head sat atop his arms when Louis entered the room rolling chair and all, he felt his heart sink at the sight of the boy, the notches of his spine visible from where they peaked out from Louis’ shirt and lead to his neck. For a moment Louis almost considered living the boy be, almost.  
“Curly,” he grinned when the boy looked up meeting his eyes for the first time since he woke up on the couch that morning. “Come on,” he patted the cushioned seat, “let’s go for an adventure.”  
For a few passing moments Louis began to worry that Harry wouldn’t trust him enough, that was until the lanky teen stood slowly with what Louis thought might be a smile. Harry surprised himself and the older boy when taking a seat in the rolling chair before whispering, “Lead the way.”  
“I’d like to welcome you to the S.S Louis,” he starts making a big show of walking the chair around the room as he pretends to hold a microphone. The pair received multiple strange looks upon their exit from the tiny room, but Louis pushed forward pointing out islands that only the two of them could see, with colorful butterflies and singing birds. Multiple kingdoms over S.S Louis docked in the break room or as Louis claimed, “the Amazonian Kingdom awaits us Harry.”  
The older of the two walked to the corner of the room where a radio sat atop the counter turning it on the fill the Amazonian forest with soft music. If Louis was quite honest he felt rather childish but those thoughts didn’t last with Harry’s laughter at his side. “I have great news,” he exclaimed “we’ve been invited to the royal ball.”  
The next thing Harry knew, his hand was in the one that Louis had extended to him. “May I have this dance, Captain?” He asked feeling brave and young for the first time in far too many years. It wouldn’t take any expert to tell they two were terrible dancers, though Louis thought he and Harry impressed the host of the ball, or at least that’s what he told Harry.  
Jay was more than surprised as she peeked her head into the break room to see Harry giggling like someone his age should, clumsily dancing with her son. She watched a moment longer letting the song finish before clearing her throat. “Hello loves, I don’t mean to interrupt but there is a Robert here for you, Harry.” She smiled at the dimples on his flushed cheeks, but her heart sank when they quickly disappeared at the mention of his leaving.  
The three of them exited the room, the soft happiness that hung gently in the air long gone. A man Louis assumed was Robert stood in the lobby tapping his foot in agitation with his arms crossed over his chest. To say the man seemed a little rough would be an understatement, his face was covered in a grim Louis couldn’t place though the sights of it made him crave a shower.  
“Glad to see you safe, Harry.” The stubble covered face said unconvincingly reaching out a hand. What really made the situation uncomfortable was the submissiveness of Harry’s posture as he walked to place his thin wrist in the man’s hand. “Will that be all, hope he wasn’t causing a stir,” he started again Louis’ eyes on his tightening grip that was nearly breaking the boys thin wrist.   
“That’s all, and Harry was lovely,” she was trying to taper her tone into a sort of calm. “But I’m sure you already knew that.” Robert began his walk to the door turning away from Jay and Louis and pulling Harry behind. Jay quickly took Harry’s hand to place her card in his trembling fingers, before giving his arm a squeeze trying her very best to tell him without words that all he need do is call.  
\------  
The car ride back to his mum and Roberts flat was as bad as Harry thought it would be, he could hear Robert’s fingers tightening around the steering wheel as he stewed in anger in the front seat. Harry knew better than to sit in the passenger seat while he was this angry because when it last happened Harry had been looking at his hands in his lap before Robert slapped the side of his head sending it into the window where it landed with a thud and left a nasty bump. If the man where a caricature Harry was pretty sure there would be smoke rising out of his ears.  
“Get out,” Harry jumped being pulled from his trance like state by Roberts gravelly voice ordering him out of the car in front of their ‘home’ slamming the door as soon as the words left his mouth, already having entered the front door by the time Harry forced his legs to move.  
Dred was pooling in his stomach as he slowly walked to the door, making sure Jay’s card was tucked safely in his back pocket. Harry stood taking in a deep breath, his hand on the rusty knob of the door turning it knowing he may have hated his life right then, but he was about to hate it a whole lot more.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter four, as always thank you for the encouragement! I hope you enjoy, feel free to comment or send me an ask on my tumblr forthelarrylove.tumblr.com  
> I'm not sure how we are looking for an update next Monday as classes are starting up, but I will try and not miss it!

Harry’s knees shook when he passed the threshold of the filthy flat, the shaking quickly stopped due to the fact that immediately upon his entrance to the residence hands were wrapped around his throat in what Harry thought could rival a python’s grip on its prey. In retrospect it seems almost scary how accurate the analogy actually was, not that Harry had time to consider its validity as all thoughts were whipped from his mind in the form of his head meeting the frame of the door in an impact that blackened his vision and rattled his brain.  
“Harry, I knew you were a stupid kid, but I didn’t think you were a snitch too,” Robert hissed having moved one hand from its place around the boy’s throat and bring it to rest, with a smack of his palm on the dry wall, next to the head of curls. The man had grown a smirk over his vile face upon watching the lanky teens head flinch back at the sound of his hand meeting the wall, causing it to yet again come into contact with the wood of the door frame.  
“No, I didn’t,” he panicked as the old saying ‘snitches get stiches’ played over in his mind. “I-I.”  
“I-I,” he mocked his jaw jutting out in anger. “You what, boy? Can’t think of a lie fast enough? I’d be nervous too, if I were you,” he threatened.  
“No, no,” he started the hand on his throat taking its toll in the form of stiffening lungs. “I was working last night, I s-swear!” Harry hated the nervous itch in his bones that living a life like his led to, but if you asked him it was infinitely better than the fear weighing him down in that moment.  
“Oh, is that so?” Well, let’s see it slut, where’s my money?” Robert inquired with an eyebrow raised. The weathered hand moved from its place on the wall while the other remained to keep the teen calm, not that he had the strength to do anything. Harry bit his lip when tears pooled at the bottom of his eyes before escaping to land on Robert’s hand.   
The card in his back pocket was as heavy as a brick, the weight of it a reminder of just how screwed Harry really was. The monster in front of him was shoving his hands into the front pockets of the borrowed pants, almost having pulled them from the too thin hips in the heat of the search.   
“What’s this?” he wondered aloud, his fingertips having touched the corner of the card in the back right pocket. In the man’s rush to pull the item out of its hiding place a rip could be heard as the seams of the pocket gave way. Harry didn’t want to feel his heart break at that, but he didn’t want to feel quite a few things that moment, Louis let him use these pants and Harry had ruined them.   
“You don’t even care about your mum do you,” Robert chided taking a stab at a known weakness of the boy. “If you get me in trouble, who will take care of your mother? The two of yas gonna live on the street again?” The boy shook his head with conviction, that no he wouldn’t want that, as Robert used the card as a pointer to guide green eyes to the slouched form on the couch.  
A face much like the boys own stared into space, mouth open, and eyes unseeing. Her slim body was almost folded in half as any number of drugs coursed through her system, the used needle had already fallen to the floor from its place in her hand, the woman’s muscles too filled with ecstasy to retain a grip.   
“No,” the boy croaked lips trembling while the tears ran fast and free. It was then that Robert knew he had won, he had once again squashed what remained of Harry’s spirit, but that wasn’t enough. It never was.  
“Then I guess we won’t be needing this,” he stated sharply using the same hand that held the card to dig through his own pocket for a cigarette and his lighter. When the two items along with the card rest in one hand Harry finally felt the pressure leave his neck, though he wouldn’t dare move.   
Wide green eyes watched as rough hands clicked the lighter, the flame it produced danced across the cards corner turning it black before actually setting it ablaze. Robert held the unlit cigarette between his long yellowed teeth, the card now serving as a match to light the stick between his lips.  
“Right,” he checked puffing smoke into Harry’s face and watched as the rapid nodding of the teen’s head cleared the air around them. “Good,” he sneered taking a long puff leaving a fourth of what hadn’t fallen to the floor as hot ash. Harry really should have seen it coming, but tears clouded his vision. The boy only knew when he felt the hot ash singe through Louis’ shirt and create a crater on his collar bone. The pain was white hot, his shoulder was twitching under the pressure of the rotating head of the cigarette, sobbing into the stale air of the home until the butt fell to the ground. “I hope we won’t be having this conversation again.”  
Robert stomped up the stairs after throwing the chard card to the floor and extinguishing what was left of the flames under his boot. Harry’s breathe was leaving in ragged puffs between cries while his legs gave out beneath him, forcing the boy to feel even lower than he had before. He was startled by Robert’s voice booming upstairs, “Shut her up!”  
Before that point Harry hadn’t been able to hear anything besides his painful breathing and the sound of his heart beat in his ears matching the tempo of his burning collar bone. After being ripped away from his own pain, the emerald eyed boy could hear sobs that he had heard many times before.  
“M-,” he coughed, his throat as tight as ever, Harry however cleared his throat with a wince before trying once more. “Mum,” he called out to her while he forced himself onto tired legs and to move heavy feet.  
“Harry,” she wept with an arm above her head in an attempt to reach her son. “Why is that man hurting you?” Her voice came out as a whine, with her eyes heavily lidded.  
“Let’s lay back, yeah just like that,” Harry uttered quietly into her hair after wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her next to him on the ratty couch.   
“Why, Haz?” Chapped lips whimpered over and over while the teen held her close with a sniff.   
“Nobody was hurting me, Mum.” Harry lied easily, he took hold of her cool, thin fingers heating them under his own warmer hands. “Look, look I’m okay, you’re okay. It’s just a bad dream,” he offered rocking them at a slow pace. Harry even allowed himself to hope it all was a bad dream for a moment as he ran his finger through his mother’s tangled hair.  
A few minutes passed before Harry was able to silence his mother’s cries to quiet whimpers, though he didn’t leave her side until an hour later when she slipped into a restless sleep. The boy gently pulled his arm from under her sleeping weight, placing a kiss to her temple before making his way up the stairs. His room was dark much like his mood, even when the lamp next to his bed had been turned on the room seemed devoid of color.   
The teen released a sigh as he rubbed his hands down his face, whipping the long since dried tear tracks from his pale cheeks. He was done crying, not because he couldn’t but because it felt useless, his tears hadn’t helped him in all his seventeen years, he didn’t expect them to now. The cigarette burn on his collar was pulsing under his fingers tips as he grazed them over the chard shirt.  
With a sigh Harry opened the drawer to his bed side table, reaching in to find the sewing kit he bought to fix his own struggling clothes. It took some time and nearly all of his remaining energy but the boy somehow managed to remove the shirt from his chest, biting his lip to contain his whimpers when the singed shirt and flesh had to be parted.   
Once the shirt had been folded into a neat square, Harry threaded a needle with shaking hands. Over his slim legs sat the pants, the pocket only hanging on by a thread. There was a certain level of self-hatred flowing through his bones with the knowledge he was the reason Louis’ soft articles of clothing were ruined.  
“Get up,” a voice pulled the green eyed boy from his fitful sleep. “You’re goin ta get me my money today, but since I can’t trust that big mouth of yours I will be taking you downtown and picking you up. Don’t make me wait, Harry. Don’t test your luck,” the disgusting man threatened while he stood in the door frame. After a few moments passed and Robert was sure Harry understood. He left the drowsy teen to get dressed.   
Harry’s bones ached under his skin as he sat up from his mattress on the floor. The idea of having Robert breathe down his neck even more than usual made the boy nauseous with fear. With a sigh he changed into the warmest clothes he had, already knowing the day was going to be a cold one. Once he had dressed himself, Harry grabbed the folded clothes from their place at the foot of his mattress. Even while holding the articles of clothing at his side the acrid smoke still assaulted his nose and made his eyes water. Louis would surely think poorly of Harry if he got his clothes back smelling of smoke, for some reason the thought of Louis believing he would be so careless with someone else’s belongings made his insides turn.   
About an hour after Robert dropped the teen off, Harry had already been on his knees twice. He knew he would have to do a lot better by the end of the day or Robert would have his ass, but at that moment he sat in a chair at a seedy laundry mat watching Louis’ clothes tumble in the wash hopefully rinsing away the night Harry had in them.   
“You workin? I’ve seen ya on the corner before,” a voice pulls Harry from his spin cycle daze. The boy nodded trying to distance his mind from what he was about to do for the third time today.  
“ I’ll suck you off,” he offers voice going as smooth as he could make it. “If you give me a ride I’ll do it for half, anything else is gonna cost you.” Harry was tracing his bottom lip with his finger noticing the man’s attention to his mouth.   
“Works for me baby,” the man purred into his neck. Harry grabbed his hand pulling him to the dirty bathroom.  
Some gagging, an orgasm, and a few bills later Harry found himself on the front steps of the cozy bookstore. The smell of coffee was being poorly held back by the old doors and Harry wanted nothing more than to curl up on the warm sofa, but that was not an option. A stolen pen in hand Harry scribbled a quick note on the back of a receipt he had stuffed in his jeans pocket, leaving the crisply folded clothes on the steps.  
Louis reached blindly for his keys, the lights already off leaving the books and the boy in darkness. Once the keys had been found and Louis’ big toe had been broken by the shelf he ran into, the door was finally being locked. It hadn’t been a great day, not if you asked Louis anyway. The sky had been dark, the air frigid, and he himself in a somber mood. His mind had been flashing back to the shaking frame of a bruised boy without his permission, leaving his stomach in painful knots, he couldn’t help but be worried and it was eating him alive.   
A loud sigh escaped his pink lips and the anxiety that had been plaguing him coming out in billows of white wisp. Louis’ attention was pulled from the air around him to his feet where a white back with the words ‘thank you,’ printed over and over in bold red letters crinkled. Though slightly afraid of the bag’s contents, he opened it seeing the clothes he let Harry borrow just the day before along with a bit of paper.   
Louis pulled his clothes from the bag to see the shirt had been folded neat collar facing upwards and the pants sat as a neat square. He was confused to see a hole in his shirt along with an off colored thread holding his pants pocket to the rest of the material, picking up the note, his heart broke.   
“I’m sorry.  
-H”


End file.
